In my early twenties, I began a love affair I still struggle, to this day, to put behind me. My partners in crime? Adverbs and adjectives. These culprits lulled me into believing they actually strengthened my writing.
Was I in for a rude awakening.
That day came when a critique partner helpfully pointed out that I used purple prose. Of course, being a beginning writer, I had no idea what she was talking about. But I soon learned as I began to sneak how-to-write books home.
Before this, I thought rewriting meant adding more adverbs and adjectives. Now rewriting became a struggle to delete my adjectives and adverbs while replacing my weak verbs with stronger verbs.
Weak verbs, you ask? Well, those are likely the words you modify with weak adverbs. Let's start with them first.
Frowning angrily, she moved hurriedly towards him, saying very harshly, "You bastard."
Can you detect the weak verbs? In this case, they are "moved" and the participles "frowning" and "saying." Pretty generic, aren't they?
Here's a phrase to keep in mind in a situation like this--if you have to use a verb/adverb combination, you need to look for a stronger verb.
Scowling, she stalked towards him. "You bastard."
See the stronger verbs that replaced the weaker verb/adverb combinations? They are "scowling" and "stalked." When choosing a verb, it's helpful to be as specific as you can. When you're thinking the generic verb "walk" perhaps the stronger, more visual, "stroll" or "march" might fit your character's mood better.
Bet you're wondering about those weak adjectives about now.
Scared, she curled in a tiny ball beneath the cramped desk, trying to hide from the ogling, intrusive crowd.
Care to guess where the adjectives are in this sentence? They are "scared," "tiny," "cramped," "ogling," and "intrusive."
She curled in a ball beneath the desk, trying to hide from the crowd.
I was able to delete these adjectives because they are redundant. "Scared" shows in the fact that she's hiding, if you're curling into a ball it is expected that it's tiny, the space beneath a desk is naturally thought of as cramped, and if she's hiding from the crowd she obviously thinks of them as intrusive.
So, when using adjectives, watch for redundancies and cut, cut, cut wherever you find them.
For the most part, adverbs and adjectives will do more harm to your writing than good. Still, adverbs and adjectives have their uses in the English language, so the last thing I'd suggest is deleting them totally. Just make sure they're doing the job they were intended to when you use them, and that there's not another solution, such as using a stronger verb instead.
Remember less is always more. If you use too many adverbs and adjectives, your readers will get distracted from your story as they wade through your purple prose.
Wondering if you might use too many weak verb/adverb combinations or adjectives? Print a chapter and take out two different colored highlighters, perhaps blue and pink. Highlight all adverbs in blue, and all adjectives in pink.
If you discover an overwhelming grouping of either pink or blue in any one area, take a closer look. Are you using too many weak verb/adverb combinations, too many adjectives?
Love the adverb/adjective where it is and don't want to delete it? Read the sentence aloud, first with the culprit then without it. If the adverb/adjective is indeed weakening the sentence, you'll hear which version sounds stronger.
Karin Schroeder is a member of SARA, where she has chaired the membership committee, and Outreach. She is currently writing a time travel, Lakota Lullaby, which recently won the Outreach Award of Excellence and finaled in four other contests, including the Emily.
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